i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
