I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
