I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Randomize
