so that wasnt chicken after all
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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