so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
