I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
