when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
someone owes me an orgasm
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize