what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
