wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
