doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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