I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
