using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize