IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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