My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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