I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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