I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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