mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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