I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
