my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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