So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
