New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
