so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
