I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
