I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he was CRYING into my vagina
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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