After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize