Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
