I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
