do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
