Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
