Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
