i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
