Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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