I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I need to stop coming to work sober
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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