i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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