I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
