Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.

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(360): View more from Washington

I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking

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(702): View more from Nevada

Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.

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(712): View more from Iowa

I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently

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(925): View more from California

I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!

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(618): View more from Illinois

if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?

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