I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
