At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
