You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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