Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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