no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
There's always time for handjobs
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You are a genius and a whore.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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