So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
