I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
