he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
