I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
