He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
