I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
