She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
