Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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