The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Randomize
