i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize