Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
