he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I want you more than these girls want KFC
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We are all done wearing pants today
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
