Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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