i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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