would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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