When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
