That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
