I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
