im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
