He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
