he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize
