It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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