those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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