I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
