the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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