I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
