You're earring is so big in my mouth
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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