Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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