the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
