Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
